Man lends fiancé $1000, she breaks up with him during a 5 minute video call: 'You're perfectly entitled to ask for it back'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 23, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Relationships aren't usually as simple as they are on TV. There are things that come along to complicate even the most solid of relationships. Life is enough of a test. Jobs, family, circumstances, loss, and money… these are all surefire wrenches in relationships. You could be sailing along perfectly in love with each other, building a life you enjoy living together, then boom, one of you gets a job offer that requires them to move across the country. What are you going to do then? Or say you just moved in together, and one of you is suddenly laid off and the other just got promoted. Do you still split the rent evenly on your one-bedroom, or does one of you start chipping in more? For how long?

These types of questions send even the healthiest couples into a tailspin. And if you're on the rocks, it can be the final blow of a relationship gone wrong.

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    Cheezburger Image 10470480128
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story, where a move to a different country sparked a series of events that culminated in a pretty messy way. Both of them had to disentangle their relationship with one another before they could part ways. Read on for the story and see what you think. 

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    AITA for asking my ex for the money I lent her back?

    My (now ex) fiancé moved over to the US about a year and a half ago, and at the time she asked me for the loan of $1000, which I happily gave her. As to why it was a loan and not a gift, I'd already gifted a lot, and the phrase "loan" was hers and not mine, to the point where she messaged me afterwards to say "I owe XXXX $1000" by means of a record.
    via u/mike_ie
  • 03
    The following year and a half was a turbulent one - she got there with the idea that the streets were paved in gold (they're not), didn't follow up on her student visa, worked illegally and then claimed asylum without my knowledge, to list a few issues. Last October, she broke up with me via a 5 minute video call, and went no contact after a few messy conversations where I was trying to figure out what was going on.
    via u/mike_ie
  • 04
    Fast forward to February, where she posted on social media a screenshot of a valentines message she received from some guy there. I'm not going to pretend it didn't hurt - it did, the whole ordeal has, and I feel a lot of her posts were aimed to get a
    via u/mike_ie
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    reaction. But I left it a few days and sent her a screenshot of her original message stating that she owed me money, along with a screenshot of my bank details. No nasty message, just "please transfer to this account ASAP."
    via u/mike_ie
  • 06
    Her response - to her credit she did transfer the money, but then immediately blocked me everywhere immediately afterwards. AITA for requesting my money back?
    via u/mike_ie
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    Commenters chimed in on whether they thought he was doing the right thing or not.

    Libba_Loo 9h ago • NTA for asking for it back and frankly she did you a favor by blocking you. You got your money and you'll hopefully have more peace from now on. This woman sounds messy in every way. Chalk it up to a lesson learned and a bullet dodged and move on.
    via u/Libba_Loo
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    CarmenTS 9h ago • NTA. She specifically said it was a "loan" and sent you the text as a "record." And now your business is done. You have your $1,000. Your relationship is over. I'm sorry if there is closure you wanted that you didn't receive, but it's over. Your business is done. Again, NTA. Good luck moving on.
    via u/CarmenTS
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    . no_good_namez · 9h ago NAH what is the conflict? You asked, she paid, there is no reason for further engagement or rumination
    via u/no_good_namez
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    Ornery-Debt4416 • 8h ago NTA, and in my opinion this couldn't have gone better for you. You got your money back and didn't have to even talk to her, that's a win.
    via u/Ornery-Debt4416
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    Cheezburger Image 10470480384
    via Andrik Langfield

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    MoomahTheQueen 8h ago Problem solved. You have your money and there's no need to be further interested in her life. What she does is no longer any of your business
    via u/MoomahTheQueen
  • 13
    stophittingthyself • 8h ago NAH She gave you the money back without argument. It's coming across as you wanted to get a reaction from her but tbh it's been 4 months now, time to move on and unfollow her from everything.
    via u/stophittingthyself
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    Famous_Specialist... . 8h ago You asked for your money back in an appropriate way. NTA The long distance thing ran out of steam and it was half a year later she posted about a maybe new relationship. That's not unreasonable.
    via u/Famous_Specialist_44
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    Junior-Author6225 · 9h ago NTA. You lent her money, she owed you money. End of story.
    via u/Junior-Author6225
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    DeviousMe7 • 8h ago It's best you are blocked, she paid you back, has a new life and moved on, so should you.
    via u/DeviousMe7
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    Acceptable-March-... • 8h ago NTA. It was a loan, clearly documented by her own message. You're perfectly entitled to ask for it back.
    via u/Acceptable-March-897
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    . Mmm_hummus · 8h ago She went no contact with you in October, her social media posts months later have nothing to do with you. For your sanity you've got to stop with that thinking.
    via u/Mmm_hummus
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    You asking for the money back because you thought she wanted a reaction is a bit messy, but it was a loan so was your right. It's good you got the money back. It's best for both of you that she's blocked you.
    via u/Mmm_hummus
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    QuantumWolf99 · 8h ago NTA - you handled this perfectly professionally; she explicitly called it a loan, documented it herself in writing, and you simply requested repayment with zero drama or emotional manipulation.
    via u/QuantumWolf99
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    She clearly knew she owed the money since she paid it immediately, and blocking you after was just her way of avoiding facing her own poor behavior.
    via u/QuantumWolf99
  • 22
    Your receipts game was strong here.....screenshot of her original "I owe" message was a power move. Pretty telling that she could afford to pay you back immediately but chose not to until asked.
    via u/QuantumWolf99
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    Consider this a relatively cheap price to learn someone's true character and count yourself lucky you weren't legally tied to someone who'd ab_e immigration systems and ghost their fiancé over video chat.
    via u/QuantumWolf99
  • 24
    SQ_Madriel • 8h ago YTA for trying to use money to punish her for moving on. You got paid, time you moved on too.
    via u/SQ_Madriel
  • 25
    . Striking Standar... 18m ago NTA: She asked for a loan, you helped her out by loaning her the funds, she sent the record of this loan for you to follow up on and after a year + you asked for her to repay her debt (without interest even).
    via u/Striking_Standard564
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    Just because at one time you were planning a future with this person doesn't mean you have to let an agreed loan between you continue to slide and go unpaid any longer. You are not a door mat and were entitled that money back. You don't owe her anything. I'm happy she's paid you back, even though she seemed reluctant and immature by blocking you afterwards.
    via u/Striking_Standard564
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    Please don't let the guilt get to you, you went the high road and have no reason to feel bad for being a kindhearted person.
    via u/Striking_Standard564

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